Lies! Every word of it!!!
I have only a very vague memory of this game from my childhood. I remember being blown away by 3d graphics, crashing into things for a cool instant replay, and driving my car around an awesome loop. Considering the age, I have a feeling I won’t be quite as impressed with the graphics anymore. But let’s see how it holds up after all these years.
WHERE DID IT ALL GO?! Where are the graphics?! Where is the sound?! Where is the gameplay?! Where is anything?! Is this really the same game I remember from back then? Was I really so stupid back then to think this was a good game? The graphics ARE in 3d, but even for the time they feel unfinished. Everything is just so under detailed it’s almost impressive the balls they had to release this as a finished game. The cars are solid colored blocks vaguely resembling a vehicle, the road is alternating patterns of grey, and the “grass” is a solid flat green. The only real detail is in the mountain way off in the distance.
Sure enough, there IS a loop like I remember. It’s one of the only interesting features of the game. It’s really hard to even call it a “game” though. It’s more of a tech demo. It has subpar graphics, only the most basic of controls, and there’s no sound other than the generic engine noise and occasional tire squeal. Seriously, there’s no music at all or background noise or anything. Just the engine for the whole time you’re playing.
Why is there a box truck on a race track anyways?
I take that back, there IS music in the game. But only for about 3 seconds during the instant replays that happen any time you crash. This is seriously the most fun part of the game, just seeing the car burst into flames. When the failure is the most enjoyable part of the game, you can’t even defend the rest of it.
It even fails as a basic racing game. During normal play, you’re not actually RACING the other cars. You’re just doing time trials. If you do manage to beat the time, you will be challenged to a one on one race with a ghost car, and then go right back to time trials.
But at least there’s a lot of diversity in the game with its amazing 2 different courses! All on the same map of course. Immediately after the start you either drive straight to go on the speed track, or turn right to try the stunt track. Curiously, the stunt track is noticeably SHORTER than the speed track, so it’s unlikely that you’ll manage to beat the time trial actually driving the speed track.
Do I even need to say anything more? It’s a terrible unfinished tech demo of a game. I honestly feel bad for my parents for having bought this for me at full price when it came out. There’s really no reason to play this game since it fails in nearly all aspects of being a game.
Price – $4.00
Even with that low of a price tag, it doesn’t even feel worth it.
Fun Rating – 2 / 10
I want to give it a 1, I really do. But watching the car crash and burn in the instant replays is kind of fun. So it fails as a game, but it does manage to be an ok and very slightly entertaining crash simulator.
Play Again? – NO!
Play what again? There’s nothing left to play. You see the whole game in about 5 minutes. Hell, just by reading this review you’ve seen pretty much everything there is to see.
Total Deaths – 24 Deaths
A few of these were intentional just to see the car burn.
No one will ever beat me, because no one should ever play this game
I hope you enjoyed this 30 Minute Review of Hard Drivin’. If you did, like and follow me on Facebook or Twitter. Also leave your comments, suggestions, and recommendations. If you’re feeling real generous, you can even Donate to help me keep the site going. Thank you for reading, and I’ll see you next time.