–Day 26–

So last time, things didn’t go so well for us. But we did learn a few things that might help us this time. For starters, we’re going to use the Fly Honey as soon as the battle starts. That way Belch will be confused the whole battle and things will just be that much easier this time.

Apparently that Fly Honey was the trick the whole time. It only took 2 rounds of battle this time before Belch was defeated. So it wasn’t that we didn’t do enough damage to him last time. He must have had some kind of auto healing ability that is canceled out by the Fly Honey.

After his defeat, Belch informs us that Giygas has taken the Mani Mani statue to Fourside already. It looks like he’s going to start trouble there too now. We always seem to be just one step behind him. But we’ll continue to fight him until the very end.

Now that Belch is gone, we can finally go rescue the Mr. Saturn that have been imprisoned. While heading down the tunnel he was blocking, we even encounter one that managed to escape. But escape from what? As soon as we get through the tunnel, we’ve back in Saturn Valley at a hot spring. Was Belch “Torturing” them with a relaxing hot spring? That monster!

I’m going to call it a day so I can try to process this. I’m not exactly sure what our next step is, but I see another tunnel to the right, so I guess join me tomorrow as we explore that.

–Day 25–

I’m almost positive Belch is over to the left, so before that I want to finish exploring the rest of the building. There really isn’t much left to see, just a few zombies and a couple of trashcans. Even so, I’m still happy to fully explore the building first.

Now that I’m satisfied, it’s time to head over a face Belch. He’s quite easy to find, just follow the massive puddles of puke scattered all across the floor. They’ll lead you right to him. It looks like he has also been expecting our encounter. He even goes so far as to address us by name.

I believe one of the people back in Threek mentioned it, but Belch confirms that he is in fact working for Giygas. Belch also informs us of a prophecy that a young boy will eventually destroy Giygas. Assuming we must be that boy, Belch sets out to defeat us before that prophecy can be fulfilled.

Similar to the Slimy Little Piles, Belch also has a Nauseating Breath attack. However, Belch’s is far worse. Instead of making everyone cry, Belch’s breath actually poisons whoever is unfortunate enough to breathe it in. Other than that, Belch isn’t particularly remarkable. It also helps that Paula’s PK Freeze attacks also freeze him solid, preventing him from even moving.

Unfortunately, the battle wages on far longer than it feels like it should have. Paula and Ness both end up depleting their entire supply of PP, preventing any more PSI attacks or healing. To make matters worse, Belch eventually summons a few minions to his side.

With few options left, we start going through all our items in a desperate attempt to still win the battle. We blow up every bomb, shoot off every bottle rocket, eat every sandwich, but nothing seems to work. With few options left, we even throw the Fly Honey at him. He loves it of course, perhaps a little too much. After consuming the fly honey, Belch seems to have lost his mind and no longer attacks us.

Death Count: 5

Unfortunately, this all comes up too little too late. The team simply doesn’t have the energy or resources left to defeat Belch. Between the poison and the attacks, the whole party is eventually defeated. We must have done something wrong in that battle. We did thousands of points of damage to Belch and he just kept going. I can’t easily imagine he would really be THAT much stronger than the normal enemies in the area. There must be some trick that I’m missing.

We’ll have to resupply ourselves back in Saturn Valley and try again tomorrow. Join us then for our rematch against Belch!

–Day 24–

With our target set, we leave Saturn Valley and head for the waterfall. Of course, such an occasion is bound to be perfect for yet another photo-op. We must always remember that time we walked behind the waterfall. I hope I get an actual photo album of all these pictures when this is all done.

Unfortunately, we run into a bit of a snag. We may have found the entrance, but it seems like there is a guard of some kind that is waiting for a password, which we don’t have. I guess we’ll have to head back to Saturn Valley and see if anyone knows what we’re supposed to do. I thought I already talked to everyone, but it’s hard to tell since they all look alike.

After talking to all the Mr. Saturn, we finally find one that we must have missed before. He tells me the secret password to get behind the falls. He also tells me I have to say the password and then wait 3 minutes before I can go in. I hope that’s just a figure of speech. They can’t really expect me to just stand there for 3 real minutes do they?

Why would I have expected anything else from this game? Of course they meant stand still for 3 minutes real time. This was honestly the most excruciating 3 minutes of my life. There’s no real indication that anything is going to happen. I can’t even see my characters. Is anything happening? Did I do something wrong? Am I waiting around for nothing? These questions made this pure torture.

After the longest 3 minutes of my life, we’re finally allowed inside Belch’s Base. It’s actually a lot more industrial than I ever would have expected. I’m also saddened to see a couple of Mr. Saturn chained to an assembly line making something for Belch. It almost looks like they might be making some kind of canned food. Don’t worry little guys, we’ll save you.

There’s a lot to explore in this factory, and of course a lot of enemies, but my favorite has to be the Foppy. These little red ball creatures typically appear in large groups, are very easy to kill, and give a great amount of experience. They’re one of the best enemies I’ve seen so far for level grinding, not that I really need to right now.

On the other hand, there are also a good number of Slimy Little Piles running around. These guys are nearly identical to Mini Puke we fought the other day, except colored green instead of pink. They’re not particularly difficult under normal circumstances, but their stinky breath makes them more annoying than they should be. They can also call for help which just makes your problem that much worse.

Anyway, while exploring I found a room with a Magic Butterfly inside. It respawns every time we reenter the room, so we can completely restore everyone’s PP this way. Now that we’re all healed and in a safe room, I think it’s about time to stop for today. We’ll be nice and rested for tomorrow when we face Belch.

So join me tomorrow as we face off against Belch, save the town of Threek, and rescue all the Mr. Saturn.

–Day 23–

I’ll admit, yesterday’s death was quite the set back. It took quite some time for us to make it all the way through the cave again and out the other side. However, with Mini Barf already defeated it was considerably easier this time around. Still rather time consuming, but easier. We were also in luck outside the cave as the density of monsters felt significantly less this time around.

The second cave was much shorter than the first, and nearly devoid of monsters. In fact, there was only a single Violent Roach in the whole cave system. This was of course a welcome surprise for a change. Once through the cave, we finally arrive in Saturn Village and get to meet the whole village full of Mr. Saturn, the unofficial mascots of the series. These guys are basically just heads with feet, and they speak with a unique font that is admittedly a bit difficult to read at times. We’ve actually encountered this font once already, back in the Happy Happy Village. I guess one of them moved out of town.

There isn’t much to explore in this little town. On the left there is a small hut where we are allowed to rest. Then on the right there is a doctor who for some reason lives in a garbage can. And that’s pretty much the whole tour of the main town.

Passing through another small cave at the back of town we do also find a shop at the top of the hill. They have a few interesting things to buy, but most curious to me is the “Horn of Life”. It’s annoying that you can’t examine items before purchase, but in this case the name was enough to know exactly what it did. This is finally an item to revive a fallen team mate. The $1780 price tag makes it a bit impractical at the moment for extended use, but I think it would always be a good idea to keep one on hand.

By talking with the various Mr. Saturn around town, we start to piece together what has been going on around here. For starters, the Mr. Saturn have slowly been dwindling in numbers and it’s really bumming out the ones that remain.

Thankfully, they know where they all are. It would seem they’re being held captive behind the waterfall. On top of that, I can only assume that “Bad Stink” is referring to Belch, the very monster we’ve been looking for. Now we’re just doubly motivated to stop him. We need to rid Threek of zombies and now we need to rescue all of the Mr. Saturn too.

I’ll admit, I haven’t seen a waterfall yet, but I’m sure it won’t be hard to find. That however will have to wait for next time. Join us then as we finally infiltrate Belch’s base and free the people of Threek and now the captured Mr. Saturn.

–Day 22–

Finally, all the zombies are gone and the path behind the graveyard is clear. It’s time to see where that tunnel actually leads. It’s not going to be very easy though. Apparently any zombies hiding in the tunnel escaped being captured on the Zombie Paper.

As we make our way towards the exit, there’s one last enemy we must face, a tiny little puke pile named Mini Barf. Don’t let his appearance deceive you though, he’s tougher than he looks. Of course, it doesn’t help that Ness was already possessed by a tiny ghost before the battle started.

Really, it’s not even that he’s strong, it’s the fact that he is constantly breathing out stinky gas that makes everyone cry and lose accuracy. It’s easy enough to heal, but there’s no point since he’ll just do it again and again. So slowly the team chips away at his health until he’s finally defeated.

With Mini Barf defeated, we are free to climb the ladder out of the tunnel. Outside is a man selling a few much needed healing items. He also informs us of a nearby village that doesn’t show up on any maps, Saturn Valley. We’re going to need the rest, so it would be best if we get there as quickly as possible.

Death Count: 4

Of course, this is a sentiment that I much easier said than done. The path from the cave entrance is just swarming with monsters. We tried to be cautious the whole way, but a large group of monsters by the village entrance got the best of us. They managed a surprise attack which knocked everyone’s health down pretty far. Then a smash hit against ness put our healer out of commission. After that, it wasn’t long before the whole team fell at the monsters hands.

It looks like we’re going to have to regroup back in Threek for a little while. Join us next time as we make another attempt at reaching Saturn Valley.

–Day 21–

Everyone is together now. We’re all trained up to a decent level. We’ve purchased the best gear currently available. We’ve done practically everything we can do at the moment. It’s time to head into the circus tent in the center of town and confront the zombies. It’s weird though. As we approach, some of the other people in town start heading inside too.

As soon as we enter, I realize I’ve made a seriously misguided assumption. Now that I stop to think about it, it really should have been obvious from the start. This isn’t the Zombie HQ, this is the Zombie “RELIEF” HQ. These are all the people trying to fight the zombies and provide a bit of safety to the town. But if this isn’t where Belch is hiding…where is he?

Once again, it’s time to start searching the town. I must have missed something before. I thought maybe the zombies guarding the passage behind the graveyard might act differently now that Jeff is with us, but no. They still simply stare into our souls and generally block the path. So the hunt continued, that is until we get to the south side of town. I know it took a few days to get Jeff to Threek, so maybe I’m remembering things wrong, but I don’t remember there being a tent here.

The plan was to go inside and see who was in there, but it would seem this tent has other plans in store. Turns out it’s a Boogey Tent, and now we’re going to have to fight for our lives. Thankfully, it wasn’t a horribly difficult fight. It looks like all that training really paid off. Now let’s see who was behind this terrible trap.

As the tent fades away, we find two zombies inside huddled around a garbage can. Upon seeing us, they immediately run off scared. But what could be so fascinating about this garbage can that they would set up an entire tent to hide it? Naturally it’s our job to find out. After digging around I find a jar of Fly Honey, whatever that is. It would seem I have the answer, but it still doesn’t solve anything.

It’s starting to feel like that Boogie Tent was a dead end after all, so we take up the search for clues once more. This time however, things take an unexpected turn as the clues find us. Just as we were heading back to the hotel to regroup, we get a surprise call from Apple Kid, one of the inventors from back in Twoson. It would seem he has heard about our problem and took it upon himself to help by inventing “Zombie Paper”. It works just about the same way as fly paper, except of course that it’s supposed to catch zombies. Just place it on the floor of the tent and wait for the zombies to get trapped in it. It all just seems too easy.

Following Apple Kid’s instructions, we head into the tent and place the zombie paper everywhere on the ground. There’s nothing to do now but wait, so the team heads back to the hotel for some rest. Sure enough, throughout the night swarms of zombies are drawn to the zombie paper. As evidenced by the quick montage, even the two zombies guarding the exit behind the graveyard we mysteriously attracted to the paper.

Morning comes and it’s time to see how well the Zombie Paper worked. Everyone is so excited that they’ve all gathered around the tent to see the results. Inside is a sight like none other, a dozen zombies have all fallen victim to the Zombie Paper Trap. Some continue to struggle, unable to move, while others have given up and returned to the land of the dead. In either event, this frees the town of most of their zombie problem, and more importantly unlocks the passage out of town for our heroes.

However, that adventure is going to have to wait until next time. Join us then as we head out of town and see if we can finally find the mastermind behind it all.

–Day 20–

Now that we’ve had some time to sleep on our problem, we find out that escape is easier than we ever thought. Now that Jeff has crash landed into our little prison, it would seem we’re all trapped. However, Jeff still has his “Bad Key Machine” which is capable of unlocking any door, including our current prison door.

Once free, we find ourselves in a small underground passage, but it doesn’t take us long to find our way back to the surface. After escaping we get a chance to see the damage Jeff actually did with his crash landing. He punched a rather large hole right through the ground. I’m pretty sure the monsters are going to notice that.

With three people in the party now, we’re going to have a much easier time of things around here. Or at least that’s what I would like to say. Sadly, Paula and Jeff are still much too low level to truly be of any help. They’re both equipped with the best gear available in Threek, but it’s still a challenge to keep them both consistently alive.

With that in mind, we have to do some serious power leveling before we even attempt to move forward with the story. It took some time, and was rather difficult, but we managed to get both of them up to a respectable level. Now we have Ness leading the team at Level 24, followed by Jeff at Level 19, and Paula trailing behind slightly at Level 18. We would most certainly benefit from some additional level grinding, but I think this will do for now.

Join us next time when we start our attempt to rid the town of its Zombie Plague!

–Day 19–

We may have made it out of Brickroad’s dungeon, but I think we still have a long way to go. We haven’t even made it to Stonehenge yet. As much as I would love to continue south through the woods, it looks like we’re going to be passing through yet another cave right away.

For the most part, it is a fairly straight forward cave. It isn’t until about the half-way point that we really come to the only challenge we’re going to face. With no other paths available to us, we need to make our way up the cliff walls. But there’s a problem, the rope is still coiled together at the top instead of dangling down for us to climb. This is where the monkey really comes in handy, give him a little piece of gum and he’ll float right up to get that rope for us.

While this may have been the only real obstacle we faced while passing through the cave, what lies ahead is more than I expected. I can’t really make out the enemy, but that is clearly an area boss similar to the Titanic Ant back in the caves by Giants Step. Jeff clearly isn’t ready for a battle of that magnitude, and thankfully he won’t have to face it yet. Without Ness in the party we’re incapable of initiating combat. We’ll just have to remember to come back here later.

Upon exiting the cave, the monkey catches the eye of a girl monkey, and the two run off together. Well, he more chases after her, but you get the idea. Now I’m all alone. At least it looks like we’ve actually made it to Stonehenge.

However, the rumors of there being Bigfoot in the area happened to be true, though I can’t say I was expecting their appearance. Instead of the large gorilla like appearance most people imagine, these are closer to being cavemen. They are incredibly strong and if it weren’t for their terrible accuracy, Jeff would almost certainly be no match for them.

Best not to test fate much longer, if I can just find the cave entrance I think we’ll be safe. I don’t exactly see anything that looks like an entrance, however, that bare spot in the center looks awfully suspicious. Sure enough that was the entrance we were looking for. It also appears to be yet another chance for a photo-op. smile and say “Secret underground tunnels!”

Unfortunately there’s nowhere to go once we head inside. After a very brief exploration of the tunnel our path is blocked by another large iron statue. This time however it isn’t a pencil, it’s an eraser. I guess now we’re going to have to look for an Eraser-Eraser if we want to go any further. So it looks like we’ll have to find a different route south from here.

Sadly, there isn’t much left for us to explore above ground. Just south of Stonehenge the path ends at the entrance to a lab, so naturally we head inside to look for help. I can’t say I was ready for what was inside though. It would appear we’ve stumbled into the lab of our very own father, Dr. Andonuts.

While usually the family reunions are a happy occasion, this is one of the most cringe worthy things I’ve ever had to endure. It’s painfully obvious that Dr. Andonuts hasn’t exactly been father of the year. He has been absent from Jeff’s life for the past 10 years, and doesn’t seem particularly interested in being a part of it now. After some awkward small talk, Dr. Andonuts suggests they should do this again in perhaps another 10 years.

In between the awkwardness however, the good doctor does offer us up some assistance. It would seem he is working on basically a teleportation device, but it’s not ready yet. Instead he suggests we use one of his other inventions, the Sky Walker. It’s apparently the round machine over in the corner. His instructions on how to use it are a bit vague, but I think we might still be able to handle it.

So we climb inside the Sky Walker and hope for the best as it shoots up into the air and out the top of the lab. As we fly, we occasionally dip down below the clouds to see the ground below. We see another city which I can only imagine is Fourside, as well as a desert which I know is just outside Threek.

Eventually we make it to Threek and start circling around town looking for Ness and Paula. After a few passes of the town the sensors on the Sky walker locate them in the center of the Graveyard. Now we just have to gently land the ship and go save them…Or crash it into the ground, crashing into the ground is fine too.

That may not have been the best choice Jeff! Now the Sky Walker is completely destroyed and you’re trapped right alongside Ness and Paula. Regardless, Jeff is now a part of the team and we can only hope to find some way out of this prison.

But for now, I’m going to let everyone rest and think of a good plan. Join us next time when we make our daring escape from monster prison!

–Day 18–

And so, our journey South is truly underway. Unfortunately for us, Jeff starts out incredibly weak at level 1. Doubly unfortunate for us is our first enemy encounter outside the school. Instead of running into a weak enemy like a spiteful crow, we end up running for our lives from a Gruff Goat. These happen to be the strongest enemies in the area, and this one nearly ends our adventure before it even begins.

I really have to be thankful for all those cookies I stole earlier, they really helped us right now. But what really saved us was the fact that Jeff was carrying around a Big Bottle Rocket in his pocket… That sounds wrong… Anyway, this did massive damage to the Gruff Goat and we survived to fight another day. We also managed to level up all the way to level 3 instantly from this one fight.

However, this fight made me realize something quite worrying. What are we going to do to recover health? Those cookies won’t last forever. We also can’t get back into the school to rest. I guess we could buy items at the shop, but without an ATM Card we have no way to withdraw any money.

Thankfully a couple of campers have set up a tent out in the woods. They’re nice enough to offer us some tea and let us rest for a while. I have a feeling we’re going to be visiting these campers quite often. At least until Jeff gains a few levels and can take care of himself.

As Jeff continues south, we come to the edge of Lake Tess where we find a rather large gathering of the “Tessie-Watching Club”. It would seem they’re all camping out in hopes of catching a glimpse of Tessie.

Sadly, none of them seem to have any true insight on the creature. However, one suggests that Tessie only shows up when it’s windy. Then another is quite confident that Tessie will show up tomorrow. Normally I would call them optimistic fanatics, but in games all rumors are true. So I should really look forward to seeing Tessie tomorrow.

Much like with the campers, the Tessie-Watching club is nice enough to share their provisions with us. This time the group’s chef is willing to let me have some of their stew and rest for the night. Of course, we can’t just lounge around while Ness and Paula are in danger. In fact, Paula reminds Jeff of their danger by contacting him telepathically during the night.

Also during the night, we learn about Jeff’s repair ability. Apparently this is something that will happen automatically whenever we sleep, assuming Jeff’s ability is high enough. In this case, Jeff managed to repair the Broken Spray Can into a can of Defense Spray. Now I know what to do with any broken items I find.

We awake the next morning and see that the wind is blowing, as indicated by the leaves blowing around now. That was of course one of the signs that Tessie would be showing up. Like I said, in games, all rumors are in fact true and Tessie is sure to show up today.

With Tessie’s arrival imminent, there’s only one thing to do, take pictures of everything. So naturally, the photographer shows up to take Jeff’s picture. It’s interesting, this is the first picture so far that won’t have Ness in it.

Anyway, now that Tessie has actually arrived, I have a brief panic attack. What if it’s a boss battle? There’s no way Jeff is high enough level right now for any kind of major boss battle. Oh no, that was probably why Jeff was already carrying that Big Bottle Rocket! I was supposed to hold onto it for exactly this battle.

Thankfully, no such boss battle takes place. After giving the monkey some gum, he floats over to Tessie’s head as it rises from the water. Then for no explained reason, Tessie allows Jeff to ride on her (I’m assuming it’s a her) back and across to the southern edge of the lake.

After dropping us off on the shore, Tessie simply leaves just as quickly as she arrived. I’m thankful for the assistance, but now I wish we could have spent more time with her. I’m actually a big fan of monsters like the Loch Ness Monster and Bigfoot and other creatures like that. Of well, we’ll just have to continue on without her.

Tessie may have given us a nice little ferry ride across the lake, but she didn’t exactly drop us off in an ideal spot. Just south of where we landed there is yet another Pencil-Shaped Iron Statue blocking our way. Without any other options, we are forced to make our way through the dungeon maze known as “Brickroad”.

Inside the maze, we once again have to face off against the Rowdy Mice. Just like before, these creatures have an unnaturally high chance to get critical hits. Thankfully the maze is stuffed full of presents full of items to keep my health up. It’s also not a very long or particularly complicated maze.

Even with the simplicity of the maze, there are still a few things that leave you with your guard up. Certain deceptions, like these monster infested present boxes. Normally I would expect the monster itself to be some kind of haunted present, but no. Instead we are attacked by some Worthless Protoplasm which are, well, worthless.

There is also a sign halfway through the maze warning you to watch out for falling materials. However, instead of anything dangerous falling from the sky, we are instead greeted by the photographer once again. Yet another first, not only is Ness not in this picture either, but this is also the first instance of us having two pictures taken in the same play session.

So after fighting some mad ducks and opening finding all the presents in the maze, we finally make our way to the exit. There’s even a phone here so you can save your progress. It would be such a shame to make it all this way and then lose everything.

As soon as we leave the dungeon we are confronted by the dungeon’s developer, Brickroad. Now this makes me question if the dungeon itself is also named Brickroad or if I just jumped to conclusions. Anyway, Brickroad tells us that he has devoted his life to creating dungeons by combining his skills with the intelligence of Dr. Andonuts. Oh good, he’s friends with Jeff’s dad.

After sharing his ambition to become “Dungeon Man”, the first ever combination of human and dungeon, he offers us up a good night’s rest. We gladly take him up on his offer, we could use some healing after the damage we took in that dungeon of his.

We still have quite a ways to go until we’ve rescued Ness and Paula. We haven’t even made it to Stonehenge yet. But that’s going to have to wait till next time. See you then.